-- Mike Sibley, The Barn Patrol http://www.mikesibley.info/--

ST MUNGO'S SERMON TO THE HIGHLANDERS:

The lord has given this dog to the farmers for help in their dominion of the half-wild west of our country. With all the Lord's gifts comes a message, and with this four-legged gift has come the following from the mind of our loving Lord:

The dog shall teach you the following by his innate endowments:

- be vigilant, persistent, and self-neglecting in the pursuit of your mission; for it is your nature.
- be a team-player, for it is your nature.
- be loyal and generous, for it is your nature.
- be protective of all you love, for it is your nature.
- in a crisis, do what you know is right, even if the voice of the multitude be raised against you; for it is your nature.

You and your dog shall work together to defeat the inherent sinfulness with which you are mutually afflicted:

- do not attack just because you feel like it.
- do not sass just because you feel like it.
- do not grab just because you feel like it.
- do not make noise just because you feel like it.
- do not pull down curtains and tablecloths just because you feel like it.
- do not despise those who are weaker, slower and dumber than you.
- remember that it improves the soul to occasionally bow to the will of those greater than yourself.

You and your dog will struggle, in this world and the next, together to deal with the mysteries known only to our God:

- how to keep strangers from using the sidewalks, streets and highways.
- how to make perfect plans proceed perfectly.
- how to protect all loved ones from harm and death.

Amen.